


cleanliness is a lifestyle

by N1VA



Series: old stuff new exposure [20]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Short & Sweet, i love alfred wtf, ummm - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29276316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N1VA/pseuds/N1VA
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne
Series: old stuff new exposure [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149803
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	cleanliness is a lifestyle

Alfred had already given up on cleaning after the Joker. He’d just make it worse, somehow, before the butler could lift a finger. So, when Joker announced his presence in the kitchen out of sheer boredom, Alfred took his chance to leave before the wreckage occurred. When Joker got bored things got messy. 

The state of the kitchen looked more like a battle field than anything else. Flour and eggs and milk spilled across counter tops and dripping all over the floor. Somehow it wound up on the ceiling as well. Sticky, wet, and all around pretty damn gross. Not that Joker cared. He really didn’t. As long as there was fun to be had, he would continue doing what he’s always done. Including making an utter mess of the usually pristine kitchen. 

He whistled and hummed as he mixed the batter. Nothing in particular, just whatever tunes happened to float around his his skull at any given moment. Joker’s voice was surprisingly crisp and clear sounding. He paused for a quick moment to lick batter off the spoon. Sure, he probably shouldn’t do that with all those raw eggs in the mix, but again, he had no concern over it. 

Joker reflected on the last few months as he worked on his creation. He wasn’t sure where Bruce and the kid had run off to, but he knew they’d come back. They always did. Shortly after he’d moved into Wayne Manor, Batsy had taken his mask off for Joker, stating that he wanted Joker to trust him. To know him. To love him wholly and fully. Bruce blushed the whole time, as if he was embarrassed. Joker couldn’t grasp why, the man was gorgeous. With a smile and a kiss Joker just told Bruce he’d have loved him no matter who the man under the mask was. 

It took a few days for him to get a feel for the place, and a few more to really learn the layout. He was a fast learner but Wayne Manor was huge. One of his favorite spots was on the roof, where he could gaze at the city or the star, feel the wind on his skin, hear the sounds of life all around him. Many nights Bruce had found him asleep up there, having dozed off unintentionally. Sometimes Bruce would lay with him, sometimes he’d carry Joker back inside. Either way all Joker cared about was that his Batsy was with him.

In his distraction he forgot about what he was doing. He’d been staring blankly at the wall for a good ten minutes before arms wrapping around his middle startled him back to reality. Joker wondered how long he would have stayed like that if not for the man currently burying his nose into his soft green hair. 

“Alfred told me I’d find you in here.” Bruce said.

“Yeah… I kinda spaced out for a while though…”

“I noticed.” 

“Where were you anyway?”

“I took Dick out shopping, he needed clothes. He’s growing so fast, you know how it is.” 

“I thought we agreed to stop calling him that?”

“What? Dick?” Bruce asked with a chuckle.

“You’re a dick.”

“And you love it.”

“I love your dick.”

Bruce laughed so hard Joker felt the vibrations rumbled through his own body. He joined in after a moment, and the two of them could be heard straight across the manor.

“Are you going to finish… Whatever, uh, this is.” Bruce asked when he could speak properly again. 

“Nah. I’d rather just eat you.” Joker flirted with a wink as he spun around in Bruce’s tight grip.

With that Bruce pulled him into a kiss, as sweet as Joker could handle. He was promptly lifted and shoved onto a dry section of the counter. He wrapped his legs around Bruce’s waist, bringing their hips flush against each other. Joker’s fingers tangled in Bruce’s black shirt, tugged up slightly, got soft flesh exposed. He whined into Bruce’s mouth, a quiet needy plea for more.

“C’mon, bed, now.” Bruce growled in the Bats voice as he broke the kiss for air. His pupils had already expanded, dark and all consuming. 

Joker nodded vigorously, already sliding off the counter, already beginning to drag Bruce through the halls to their room. 

Later Alfred was left to clean two messes, the one in the kitchen and the one in his surrogate son’s bedroom.


End file.
